February 11th, 2014
What if you chose to live this year with more love and less hustle? How would your state of mind and well-being be impacted? How might you gain more, by doing less? I was in the presence of an amazing group of women recently and we were sharing the best resolutions we’ve made and kept. This idea resonated with me, and I realized I’ve been trying to enact this way of being that isn’t about packing more in, but being more present and in the moment.
In the past if I had a 10 minute chunk of time, I would ask myself what can I do in 10 minutes. Now I view that 10 minutes differently, perhaps it will allow me to arrive early and calmly to my next appointment instead of running in the door with a minute to spare. Maybe I can close my eyes and breathe deeply to help ground me for what’s next in my day. Or I can just sit and be still and notice the people and the beauty that surround me.
This Valentine’s season, I hope you’ll take to heart this idea of loving more and hustling less. Cherish the space you can create in your life by being more intentional and mindful about how you spend your time. Love yourself. Love others. Love your community.
January 30th, 2014
The measure of successful dialogue is not whether or not you have a tough problem to deal with, but whether it’s the same problem you had last year. We all have to face challenging conversations in a variety of areas –from having awkward or failing business relationships, to dysfunctional teams, to poor employee performance, etc.
Paying attention to both content of the discussion and how people are acting and feeling is an essential part of effective interpersonal communication. Effective leaders do not shy away from challenging conversations. They apply dialogue principles and skills that help them achieve what they want. To have successful conversations with others:
- Confront reality
- Set healthy goals for a dialogue
- Give feedback in a way that minimizes defensiveness
- Manage strong emotions – yours and theirs
- Make it safe to talk
- Be persuasive, not abrasive
- Genuinely listen to others
To master challenging conversations and to strengthen relationships apply the dialogue principles, skills and critical questions from Crucial Conversations by Kerry Patterson.
||Spot the conversations that are keeping you stuck.
||What conversations am I not holding or not holding well?
|Start with Heart
||Work on you first.Focus on what you really want.
||What do I really want?Am I behaving in ways that move me toward what I want?
|Make it Safe
||Apologize when appropriate, contrast to fix misunderstandings, create mutual purpose.
||Have I established mutual purpose?Have I maintained respect?
|Master Your Stories
||Separate facts from stories.Tell the story.
||Am I pretending not to notice my role in the problem?What would a reasonable, rational and decent person do?What should I do right now to move toward what I really want?
|State Your Path
||State your facts. Tell your story. Ask for others’ paths.
||Am I really open to others’ views?Am I confidently expressing my own views?
|Explore Others’ Paths
||Explore – Ask, Mirror, Paraphrase and Prime
||Am I actively exploring others’ views?
|Move to Action
||Decide how to decide.Document who does what by when and follow up.
||What is the plan from here?
November 25th, 2013
Be thankful that you don’t already have everything you desire,
If you did, what would there be to look forward to?
Be thankful when you don’t know something
For it gives you the opportunity to learn.
Be thankful for the difficult times.
During those times you grow.
Be thankful for your limitations
Because they give you opportunities for improvement.
Be thankful for each new challenge
Because it will build your strength and character.
Be thankful for your mistakes
They will teach you valuable lessons.
Be thankful when you’re tired and weary
Because it means you’ve made a difference.
It is easy to be thankful for the good things.
A life of rich fulfillment comes to those who are
also thankful for the setbacks.
GRATITUDE can turn a negative into a positive.
Find a way to be thankful for your troubles
and they can become your blessings.